Searching for senior living—whether for yourself or a loved one—can often feel overwhelming. It’s common to feel uncertain about what to look for, or what elements should make a place feel “right.”
Over the years, I’ve guided many seniors and families through this process. I’ve created a comprehensive PDF Tour Guide that outlines key questions to ask and factors to consider. However, I also understand that even a detailed checklist can feel like too much at once.
That’s why I’ve simplified the process into three core areas I always focus on when visiting retirement communities, assisted living, memory care, or adult family homes. These foundational elements can help you cut through the overwhelm and evaluate each community with more clarity and confidence.
Connection
I’ve visited many senior living communities over the years. Some are simply buildings where older adults reside—places that feel more like housing than true community. There’s minimal interaction, and the environment can feel disconnected and impersonal.
But then there are senior living communities where connection is at the heart of daily life. In these communities, residents and staff are actively engaged with one another. You’ll see genuine conversations happening in hallways—residents chatting with each other, staff exchanging stories with residents about grandchildren, family milestones, or shared interests. These moments reflect authentic relationships, not just surface-level interactions.
In thriving communities, connection is visible from the moment you step inside. A single visit often reveals warm high fives, quiet words of encouragement, or even joyful celebrations of birthdays and achievements. Another hallmark of strong community culture is the frequency of introductions. When walking with a team member, you’ll likely be introduced to both residents and staff, making you feel welcomed and woven into the fabric of the community—even as a guest.
Education
As senior citizens or family members start to explore senior living options and communities, it’s important that education is apparent and prevalent during your visit. Here’s what this can look like and how you can identify a well educated community.
Examples
Many families feel overwhelmed by the path their loved ones are facing—whether it’s the natural process of aging, memory loss, or another serious condition. These transitions are unfamiliar, emotionally challenging, and often deeply personal. When staff members are well-educated on the common challenges seniors encounter, it not only cultivates empathy but also enables more meaningful and effective connections between staff and residents.
Example 1:
A well-known training program in senior living is The Best Friends™ Approach to dementia care. This method teaches staff not only the fundamentals of dementia, but also how to support residents in a way that fosters autonomy, dignity, and engagement—often beyond what families expect.
Imagine walking into a memory care community where the staff are actively demonstrating exceptional communication and interaction with residents. Most families would feel immediate relief. But the real difference comes when a team member takes a moment to explain why they’re using a certain approach. That kind of transparency—rooted in training—offers families peace of mind and builds confidence in the care being provided.
Example 2:
Education also shows up in how staff guide families through difficult moments. One of the most frequent and sensitive questions I’ve been asked is, “How do I tell my loved one with memory loss that it’s time to move?”
This conversation is never easy, and each situation is unique. But when staff can offer guidance—even just a few thoughtful approaches—it makes a tremendous difference. There’s a clear contrast between someone saying, “I’m not sure—good luck,” and someone responding with, “That’s a tough conversation. Here are a few ways others have approached it—let’s see if one feels right for your situation.”
What a difference in tone and support. One response suggests indifference, while the other communicates, “I’m here to walk alongside you.”
Systems
Well-designed systems instill confidence—not just in staff, but in the families and guests who visit senior living communities. They provide structure, consistency, and reassurance that residents are not only cared for, but thoughtfully supported
Experienced staff often implement intentional systems that promote both safety and independence. When touring a senior living community, it’s important to observe the systems in place: How do they ensure resident well-being? What processes are in place to prevent crises before they happen?
Example 1: Supporting Independence While Ensuring Safety
One of the most effective systems I’ve seen was in an Independent Living community. Their goal was to preserve resident autonomy while maintaining safety. They created a simple yet powerful daily check-in system: every resident was required to open their apartment door once every 24 hours.
Why does this matter? Without such a system, it’s easy for a resident to go unnoticed if something goes wrong. In contrast, a daily point of contact ensures that someone will notice if a resident hasn’t been active—and can intervene quickly.
This stands in stark contrast to communities where no such systems exist. On one occasion, I visited a community without any structured safety checks. A staff member shared a sobering story: a resident had fallen overnight and wasn’t discovered for nearly two days. Each resident lived independently, and without regular interaction or safety protocols, their well-being was left to chance. That kind of gap can have devastating consequences.
Example 2: Monitoring Changing Needs
Another important system to ask about is how the community evaluates whether a resident is still safe in their current apartment or care level. Every community has different thresholds for when a resident may need to transition to a different level of support. By asking how those decisions are made—and what processes guide them—you gain insight into the team’s expertise and their commitment to ongoing resident assessment.
Strong communities don’t just react to problems; they have proactive systems that promote both safety and dignity. And when those systems are visible and thoughtfully explained, families feel far more confident in their decision-making.
Closing
Each senior living community has its own unique culture and atmosphere. Focusing on these three areas will give you valuable insight into whether the community feels like the right fit—and whether you trust their ability to provide the level of care and connection you or your loved one deserves.
Leave a Reply