Five tips to unite your family in supporting aging parents.
Navigating aging parents and noticing age related changes can be hard for family members. Some family members might be ready to take action, while others like to wait for the crisis. Getting everyone “on the same page” can be challenging due to long distances, short conversations, and changing health. You can strive to unify everyone, but real, connected conversations will help everyone feel more at peace. Here are some ways you can make this teamwork successful from the outset.
1. Acknowledge everyone’s unique perspective
Each person handles change and problems uniquely. The unknown and ever evolving changes with aging parents, like memory loss, physical changes, inability to maintain a home safely and navigate tricky age related diseases can leave every family member reeling. Tackling challenges as a group means everyone’s perspective is needed to think through the problem and how to solve it. When we acknowledge and appreciate our differences, all parties can feel like an important part of the conversation. The process can unify us.
2. Lead with curiosity
Once we have the entire group’s attention and focus, each member can shine in their unique way of handling challenges. One person might be detail-oriented, while others help calm the group with their laissez-faire attitude. Even though you have different perspectives, you can still work as a team to support aging parents. One of my favorite curious questions to ask senior citizens, also works with humans of all ages. “Have you thought about whether you want to be proactive or reactive when it comes to dealing with the mossy front steps? What about the problem of who will pick up weekly groceries?”
Talk about individual approaches to handling things like Mom’s dementia, Dad’s physical challenges, or a parent’s home that isn’t being maintained. Understanding the different mindsets—why some people move quickly while others move more slowly—can help us extend patience and understanding when decisions unfold at a pace different from our own.
3. Unify the conversation through key values
It’s easy to get lost in what to do, with everyone sounding out their own opinion and everyone disagreeing. Hyper-focus on one solution can be blinding.
However, when we let go of forcing solutions and start focusing on key values, we unite all parties. Can you shift the conversation to focus on safety instead of assisted living? What about concentrating on your shared hope of companionship, rather than pushing for a live-in caregiver? Focusing on key values allows alternative options to pop up suddenly and amazingly. Everyone can feel more confident about the path forward.
4. Find key resources
The need to make quick group decisions, to do something, can be overwhelming. Yet taking time to become educated together on resources is your wisest choice, with the power to engage the entire group. Ask all of your family members to seek out tools to help with this problem.
Each member can do their independent research, bringing suggestions to the next meet-up. That way, all have an opportunity to be a part of the discussion. If a family member doesn’t want to participate, that’s ok too. Each team member owns their choice.
5. Recap and clarify
Take in what everyone has discussed and outline your next steps. When we summarize, it gives people the option to speak up and clarify the details, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
Pulling multiple family members together to discuss aging parents isn’t easy. If you feel like you need some extra support, reach out to book a free thirty-minute consultation. We’ll equip you with communication strategies and guide your next steps.